Watching all the rest of the world from the window

I am being persecuted mercilessly this week.

One, I am suffering the slings and arrows of outrageous technology -- this blog seems the only thing that has worked right in several days. I was in the midst of composing a truly witty email to a friend, then Gmail apparently deleted it, to my dismay. Then, my cell phone, having decided that my life is far too easy when its own singular capabilities are accessible and in working order, has decided to pull the plug on its own keypad. I can access nothing, and the screen appears only when I plug or unplug the bally thing. Therefore, I have to shell out however much of my savings to purchase a newer model. Granted, I don't think they even MAKE that model of Blackberry, which is all well and good, since it's the third of its kind I've owned in a year.

However, all of this particular persecution pales in the blinding light of the TRUE issue at hand. What's really going on with me is this:

- I am trying to be a writer. Or a novelist, to be more precise.

- I am consumed by this ardent desire to do nothing but WRITE. I don't want to see people. I don't want to watch TV. I don't even felt like eating much. (MOST unnatural.)

- Curses! I have to live somehow, so I am forced to do things like . . . work. And run errands. As I am not James Patterson or Rick Riordan or any of these fellows who are capable of living off their writing, I must shuffle through hours of mundane sledge in order to gain so much as a foothold on the glorious process that is becoming the Trilogy.

When I am working, I know, deep within me, in my heart of hearts, that it is what I MUST be doing. Everything else loses color, and draws away, and it's like I'm caught up in some sort of trance and I HAVE to finish the paragraph -- or segment -- or entire chapter. This must be how Jo of Little Women always felt. I don't closet myself in the attic -- for we haven't an attic that's habitable; not at this time of year, at any rate -- but I do try to cut myself off from those around me. This is not rudeness, I shouldn't think -- it is inspiration! It is the artist's way! As King Julian so aptly puts it, "It's nothing personal; we're just better than you."

(I'd like to assume we know one another well enough by now to not have to specify this, but I'll go ahead and specify it anyway: that was a joke. Well, partially. The quote at least was a joke. To be honest, it didn't exactly apply, but I just find it so funny I could not resist including it.)

You will be glad to hear (I hope, anyway) that I have, at last, ironed out the wrinkles in the plot that were giving me so much trouble around the time of my last post. I thought and thought and thought, rather like Winnie-the-Pooh, and ultimately, I had to break a few of my own rules. But! What good are one's own rules if one cannot break them oneself, I ask?! They were actually very necessary transgressions, and the work, even in its unfinished form, has a much healthier glow now. It was like re-opening an improperly-healed wound; now I have cleaned it, and it will heal correctly, and the scar will not be unsightly, but will instead be a beautiful reminder of the painful process in which it had to grow.

I ought to be grateful for all of these ordinary things that keep "getting in my way"; things like family meals, and spending time with friends, and living up to expectations and keeping my word. And I am grateful, to be sure. However, this work is truly devouring me. Fortunately, I work at a job that is relatively mindless and repetitious, so it enables me to appear daydreaming while really I am working out different conversations, or plot twists, or mannerisms a character might have . . . That, at least, is a convenience. I have one foot in fact and one foot in fiction, and I just hope I can be flexible, because combining them feels like a particularly awkward game of Twister. If you know the expression "Lost in his/her own little world," I often have the sensation of being just exactly that. I know some people think I'm slightly dumb; I just hope no one thinks I'm crazy -- for "Dumb" can be disproved.

Anyhow, I have put my shoulder to the plow as I never have before, and I have already reaped enormous benefits. My manuscript is, at present, 296 pages long. I never dreamt I would make it this far! But I have, and I shall continue, and I shall finish. It's all a matter of time and effort.

"Never, never, never give up," said Winston Churchill -- and I shan't!!

I give you my word.

Edginess

Here is the question of the day:

Just how far can I go in descriptions of really quite shocking experiences/events/ideas while attempting to be accurate and true --not only regarding the time period itself, but also the contemporary literature of the time? It is proving difficult, and requires reading a little less George R. R. Martin and a lot more Charles Dickens.

This is my current struggle . . . because I have had to succumb to the fact that there are certain things in this story that are NOT easy to write about, and the easier part is practically done. I have started working around the edges, and am finally forcing my way into the heart of The Book -- which is a lot less fun but far, far more important. This is not too enjoyable, but I am writing.

THAT is the thing.

I am writing.

:)

A Great Help

My dear brother has just helped me more than he will ever know. Isn't that wonderful? Brothers CAN be useful. Every once in a blue moon. XP (Just kidding to two of my favorite dudes!)

A while back, he asked me if I was interested in creating a personal wiki for The Book. At the time, I was wary of such technological-sounding things, and I said, "No," but a few weeks ago I began looking into it and realizing that, in fact, it might just be a good idea. Well, as of today, I have discovered that, not ONLY is it a good idea, it is an even better instrument! I have a TiddlyWiki, which I highly, HIGHLY recommend. It is extraordinarily user-friendly, and I have spent most of the day filling it up with every single NAMED character thus far in The Book. Needless to say, it is rather large -- but it's JUST the thing to help my brain become more organized about this! In my last post, I was bemoaning how sprawling and random what I've written thus far seems . . . This TiddlyWiki is going to help me get organized and get back on track! I am extremely excited. :)

The Unlucky Sprawl

I am finally realizing what it is I have gotten myself into here.

What it SHOULD be is a gorgeous, terrifying tangle of the mythical and the real, the archaic and the modern, the debased and the sublime.

What it IS, is a gangling, half-baked mess that has very little real meat to it -- only random in-depth explanations and descriptive passages. There's some clever dialogue, too, but as it lacks a foundation, it falls pretty flat.

My imagination has truly taken me MUCH further than the actual work I've accomplished -- but I am determined not to let it remain that way! It's just that the realization of having miles to go before I sleep -- and the realization of how MANY miles -- brings me a little low. I feel like a great deal of it is premature, but I will attempt to flesh it out and make something actually HAPPEN. I have this blog to whip up interest in something that doesn't quite exist yet -- but it's here to let you know it WILL. Keep your eyes out for the trilogy. Yes, the series has a name, but the individual books don't yet. But let me tell you: when it's done, and it's out there, it will have a blurb on the back using words like "betrayal" and "passion," and, if I'm really fortunate, maybe even "sweeping" or "epic."

"Mother! Do you realize what you just SAID?"

"Of course. I said 'if.'"

"Oh. IF."

-Walt Disney's Cinderella

Sick day

Being sick was never NEARLY as useful as it has been since I started The Book. Dang. Now I get to sit here, eating crackers and drinking tea and feeling sorry for myself, AND writing! I've been taking some time to read things aloud, just to double-check and make sure that I don't repeat the same words over and over, as I have the tendency to do.

So, it's a checking, a double-checking, and a triple-checking. I have gone back through and re-written some passages that were in dire need thereof, so though I'm not making much "progress," I am certainly getting a lot done.

(As you might infer, jury duty has ended, and it was a great case and I feel completely happy with the verdict we rendered. In no way would I EVER wish to be a lawyer or a court reporter or a judge. DUDE. I would hate that.)

So, just a basic update, but things are going, and they're going pretty well. :)

Lately . . .

. . . I have been sitting on my butt a great deal, out of reach of all technology except for that to which I lack access . . . In other words, I've been randomly selected to serve on a jury that may last as long as a month. So much for me!

Fortunately, I have been using the small incidents of spare time I can snatch from the air to work on The Book. I have also come to several conclusions! See below:

1. It is my belief that it will have to be published -- if it ever is, that's a bold assumption -- in at least 2 sections. I prefer 3, naturally -- following the pattern of J. R. R. Tolkien, specifically. The TRUE three-volume novel, of which Miss Prism speaks. It is currently divided into 3 PARTS, as I mentioned previously, but now I'm thinking that each will have to be truly separate, if it is to be at all readable. Nobody would wish to invest time or money in something that, though supposedly fiction, reseambles the condensed version of the Oxford-English Dictionary. Awesome though it may be.

2. I have made a great deal of progress on one of the pivotal plot devices! It is rather exciting. My heart rate was increasing as I was writing it! I certainly hope that's a good sign and not a portent of future hospitalization . . .

There. Two points, and that's what's up. I hope I'm learning something on jury duty; I'm not sure. At least there are some interesting* people to observe.

That's all, folks!





* Aka, quite attractive.

Breather

Just for your information -- I did so much frenetic work on The Book over the holidays, have decided to take a little break. Instead I am enjoying the wonderful gift of Netflix by watching every episode of Veronica Marsm, which, gloriously, is available streaming.

As soon as I have completed my mad break into un-reality, I shall return and do something worth doing: work on The Book! I did actually get a lot done over Christmas and New Year's, and at the conclusion of this breather, I will go back and see what I actually wrote -- because it will probably not be familiar. I read somewhere that authors have -- forgive the phrase -- "built-in BS detectors." And here's hoping I do, cause I've edited out some pretty flamboyantly ridiculous stuff I'm pretty sure qualified for "BS."

Anyway, that's what's up, or down, or sideways. I'll let you know when I complete Veronica Mars. :)